november / december updates

It’s been rough.

My mental health has taken a severe dip. Things feel out of my control again. Things feel like they’re spiralling and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do anything at this point. 

View this post on Instagram

hi Instagram

A post shared by Hannah A. (@hannahcyanide) on

I don’t feel like I look my best. My self-esteem is intrinsically tied to my looks and when I feel I don’t look my best, I fall down that rabbit hole again. It becomes self-loathing. It seems shallow but what am I to do?

My skin is acting up. I’ve broken a nail and the polish is chipped. My hair more often than not looks like I’ve just rolled out of bed and not in a good way. There’s a lot of family-related anxiety on my end and while I choose not to discuss it publicly, it affects me greatly. Nothing seems like it’s going right and things weigh heavily on my mind. My looks are all I have and even that’s not going right. 

I’m trying to be better, but my brain is sick. All I can do is apologise and pray someone understands. 

Leave a Reply

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!