I’ve been in a downswing for a week or two now, which is great for my productivity but not so great for the inside of my head. It makes me weird to deal with and trying to get on top of things feels like an uphill struggle. I can’t really explain what the inside of my head feels like – but a lot of it is this empty, sinking feeling in my chest and a lot of irritation. Or being upset.
That being said, I do realise how difficult it is to deal with me. I’m not saying I’m a terrible person, but have you ever sat down and wished that you had a sort of manual on how to deal with a person?
I recently made a user manual for people who want to be involved in my life in any capacity. It tends to focus on closer, intimate relationships – but a few people have said it’s publishable. Maybe not in book format, maybe a zine. I’m really thinking about it – but the process of layouts and printing and the like might drive me a little crazy. Just a little.
I promised the people (well, Liy) at Biawak Gemok that I was working on something, but I’ve been worried that it wouldn’t sell. That people wouldn’t read it. Maybe if I made a sample, would anyone be interested in proofreading it?
It’s almost the end of 2017 and I’m still not entirely happy. I’ve got an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk about my meds – but if I adjust my meds, then I’ll have to check all my other meds for contraindications and that means another visit to another doctor. We’ll see how that goes.